Laws of Modeling 101
by Stephen T Lawson
1.) Every modeler’s desk comes with a black hole beneath it that swallows parts. Only on rare occasions does it see fit to spew one back at you.
a.) Only the highly scratch built parts or ones that have no replacements will fall into this black hole
b.) The probability of dropping a part is inversely proportional to the size of the part.
c.) The closer the match of a part and the floor, the greater the probability of dropping the part.
d.) A dropped part will bounce to the most inaccessible area of the room. (This also allows you to mark the boundaries of your black hole. (Note: A dropped X-acto knife will visit your foot before obeying d.)
e.) As soon as you quit looking for the missing part you will probably step on it.
2.) The time it takes to build a kit is in direct proportion to the amount of reference material used and often impedes further builds.
a.) The more unbuilt kits you have on the shelves the fewer kits you actually build.
b.) Unbuilt kits expand to fill available space.
c.) Reference materials expand beyond available space.
d.) The more second source reference materials (published by non-modelers) adds confusion, not clarification.
The solution here is to choose a ‘school of thought’ from informed sources.
3.) No matter what the size of your modeling desk is, 99.9% of all your modeling will be done in the 5 square inches of the center front edge.
4.) Dollar for dollar and pound sterling for pound sterling the absolute best value is a figure of a seated pilot. Simply put ‘it fills the hole’ where some modelers would rather replace aircraft cockpit details (because their too ‘Fiddly’ or wind up in the ‘Black Hole’) with a pilot figure.
5.) No matter what your method of sealing your paint bottles it will go bad two days before your intended project.
6.) The amount you pay for a new paint brush is directly proportionate to the probability that you will inadvertently dip it in your coffee or a blob of super glue or both.
7.) What ever you purchase for your hobby will go on sale a week later.
8.) All manufacturers hold their releases until they are absolutely sure that you just spent six months scratch-building your version.
a.) There is ‘NO’ such thing as a perfect kit.
b.) Half built vacuform kits impress people with your skill.
c.) A completed Vacuform just looks like another model.
9.) There is no substitute for a well oiled Dremel motor tool.
10.) Humbrol paint will always be the best paint in the sorriest container.
11.) X-Acto scars on your fingers are a given. Learn to live with them.
12.) Sooner or later you should buy an airbrush. The simpler the better.
13.) Half of the washes you apply will be done on the areas of your paint scheme that are not dry yet. But you’ll do it anyway just to be sure.
14.) Lacquer thinner odors can be smelled by your family members from the basement through a solid core door.
15.) If you find something you like, buy a lifetime supply. Because they’ll quit making it just to spite you.
16.) The kit instructions, may be very interesting, but are 95 % of the time irrelevant.
17.) Tossing a finished, expensive model kit against the furthest wall in your basement at 90mph is the most sincerest form of self-criticism. But doesn’t live up to the acclaimed rush that is supposed to follow.
18.) You will NEVER get all those models built!
19.) The probability of finding an error in a built model increases exponentially after you’ve entered it in a contest.
a.) The more important the contest the greater the error.